is still floating...
OK so I am a 58 year old caucasian male, non LGTBQPQXYZ or any other ABC gibberish...
Married for 37 years to the same woman.
I own a "Barbie Boat" and am damn proud of it.
Are you interested yet?
When we decide to move to the east coast after 46 years in Colorado, I had one demand. We would not have a pool...
So much for that thought, the whole living at the beach idea fell through, thanks hurricane Florence...
As I sit here typing my thoughts I can look out of the second story window of my office and see our pool...
Knowing we were hicks from Colorado our real estate agent never said are you really this stupid?
She never thought that we would not know how to take care of a 35,000 GALLON POOL!
Or what our newest pool maintenance friends say is a "lap pool".
OK so you can swim to Delaware and back from our pool, really.
For reference we live in North Carolina, southern no less...
Maybe I do not want to have to fight the various tugs, skips, yachts and other various seafaring boats? or maybe the super tankers...
Sorry got off track, my precious Barbie Boat.
After the ownership of a Frickin' mammoth pool set in, I moved on to "managing" my current (like an ocean current) situation.
SA (situational awareness), well not really but every time I look out my office window WHICH IS EVERY MORNING, I really, yes really needed to know that our lake Erie sized pool pump is still working.
Without a reference how can you know if the large lake pump is working?
Mind you this is the cheapest 1hp pool pump available in 2017, like spitting through a straw...
On to the Barbie Boat, sorry I got off on a tirade, managing one of the 5 largest lakes in the US is demanding...
Sitting in my comfortable reclining (no less) office chair, I look out over my domain every morning.
Right in my face is lake Erie, or is it a competitor?
I can not see if the pump is working as I have no reference (or maybe no glasses on?).
So out I go, walking down the flights of stairs so I can make ground level and find out if our lake sized pool pump is actually working...
Exhausting effort at the very least for a retired gent like me...
Got to figure out another way to deal with the lake?
Then it hits me, a lightning bolt, well no but close, I need a frigin' boat in my extra large lake that floats (floating is very important).
If it is floating it will move around the lake and I will be able to see it from my 2nd story command center. Never having to get my arse up to stroll downstairs and check for my lakes movement.
Sometimes it looks like a toilet bowl movement, you know it swirls around, sorry getting off track again, or maybe I am getting dizzy...
Anyway owning a lake/pool of this size is a serious learning curve.
All I wanted was a simple floating frikin' boat.
Into the all model stores I went asking the kind employees behind the counter if they had a "boat that floats". At first they look at me like I need help, help they can not supply. Especially the young lady, the guy got it, after a while.
He looks over at his co worker with that tilted head trip, then at the phone, can he dial that fast?
No way I am on a boat mission, a floating boat that is.
Again I reach out to him as I plead about my situation.
I start to see his eyes clear and a true understanding of my situation, he even smiles. I need a boat that floats! Around the store we go, a rather large store and he points out many a "boat" but none that will float or are pre made. I do not want to assemble a $50 battleship model just to hope that it will float in my lake sized pool. I want a premade floating boat! Really what is so hard to understand...
The poor guy was still smiling as we left empty handed knowing that no one else in his lifetime would ask for a floating boat for a lake sized pool...
Months later, still having that gnawing thought about my floating boat, my wife and I, yes she really knows about my obsession for a floating boat are walking through Walmart.
Yeah we shop Wally World on a regular basis, given our income level.
My beautiful bride says as we are walking down the linen ilse; "maybe they have a boat".
This stops me in my tracks, she really does love me, I NEED A FLOATING BOAT FOR OUR LAKE SIZED POOL...
True love, yeah she was serious.
Into the toy section we go, she one isle me another isle to the west...
OMG there it is, my long lost floating lake sized swimming pool BOAT!
A Barbie Boat with a raft that attaches with a string that holds 3 dogs.
Screw the raft and dogs, REALLY, I just need the boat...
W
